Valentine's Day

My loveur, AKA Kooky the cat, woke me up at 6.45am, screaming to be fed. However, he allowed me to stroke him for about ten minutes before rushing noisily to the kitchen. Once there, he shot out of the catflap while I lovingly prepared his beef-in-carrot-jelly breakfast. Meanwhile, I lovingly placed some clove-studded clementines on the radiators to pleasantly scent the air for him. Mmmm. Perhaps I should have used sardines instead. But there are limits. He then shot back into the kitchen, noisily devoured his food, and demanded another small tin of food, this time lamb in game jelly, before clawing the sofa a bit, and then settling for a post-prandial snooze.

Above is a typical pose - happily in the embrace of 'another woman'. Hmmm. Sometimes I think this Valentine's business is not all it's cracked up to be.

Fivepenny Chairs

Rather excited about the new programme with Monty Don on BBC 2. Featured a farmer called David Saltmarsh who makes chairs in his spare time. Was rather tempted by one of his dining chairs but they are £400. Sounds a lot but all made from green oak and elm with hand tools and no nails etc. Seems that as the wood dries out it hardens and forms a brilliant seal in the sockets and becomes hard as iron over time. Designed to last for hundreds of years. His site is www.fivepennychairs.co.uk. So tempted, but so broke! They take ages to make and he only charges £10 per hour, which puts it into proportion.

Saturday Sadness

Took the wrong pills last night: sign of the times.

Weighed 16st 12lb this morning. So, unless I gain weight before tomorrow, have undeservedly lost half a stone. Not that it shows until I lose about 3 stone at my size. My arms look a bit wrinkly though, so it could be dehydration. We shall see.

Dorothy rang. Involved in some exciting project which is not understood by me. All to do with computers.

Expecting news of a family funeral: someone far too young, loved by everyone, a great mother and so much more. It is a terrible waste when someone dies so young, while the rest of us limp on into old age.

Diet Chef Delivery Day

Waiting for my Diet Chef delivery. It all weighs so much. Fortunately Romy is taking a week's supply for two which she will collect from me in due course. In order to get a weeks supply free I have to order another large lot of stuff in a couple of weeks, but then will definitely order fortnightly deliveries, which will mean lighter parcels and less storage space needed.

Lost another pound last week. Now 17st 1lb, but suspect I have fallen entirely by the wayside this week what with eating more food with my cold and cough and comfort eating in the cold weather.

Had a great lunch out with Romy at La Cave. A bit expensive but I thought, well worth it.

I hate waiting around for deliveries on my day off. Feel trapped in the house, but I am putting loads of washing in the machine, so making some use of it.

Finally, the food has arrived. I am letting Romy have a weeks' supply for two, which she will collect in due course.

Don't feel like going out now!

Vile Bodies

Was thinking about that TV programme, Embarrassing Bodies. My first body memory was of being in a bath, wearing a kind of cyclist's cape being bathed by a nun who turned away while washing me with a large sponge. I was about four or so. I decided then and there that bodies must be rather disgusting and unmentionable, since being naked around other people was obviously not an option. At any time.

At home my mother would walk around completely starkers when upstairs, a sight we were well used to. This did seem strange to me, but we always knew our mother was considered to be beautiful. My stepfather, when not fully clothed, wore pyjamas, and a dressing gown and slippers. So did we.

At boarding school we got dressed and undressed awkwardly in the dormitories under our dressing gowns so no 'sights' were seen. Except Penny, a rather large and tall new girl who unselfconsciously stripped off and strode around the dormitory to our complete shock until she realised the effect she was causing and learned to be 'modest' like the rest of us.

The only time I ever thought bodies might not be so dreadful was when I was about ten, out swimming, and a boy told me that I should be proud of my body, that people's bodies were all natural and fine. This seemed a revolutionary idea, but I was not convinced.

Even when I got married I always wore extremely unsexy nightclothes and insisted on the lights being off in the bedroom before lovemaking. I had been very surprised some years before, when at 15, I was walking with some French boys and girls in the South of France, and feeling hot, to see that most of them stripped off and went swimming in a mountain lake together. There was no ogling or pruriency as there would have been in England. Though in the late fifties, this would never have happened in England, and I had been rather shocked, though envious that they behaved so naturally.

Apart from my body now turning into the horrific sight it never was in earlier years, nothing much has changed. At least I now feel totally justified in remaining covered - though my sister Nibby has always wanted to paint me in the nude 'all those mountains of flesh, and lumps and bumps!' she rhapsodises. No chance, Nibs!

I seem to definitely have Alzheimers as I distinctly remember writing about all this before a year or two ago. Oh well. But at that time the new menace, the airport body scanner, wasn't about. For me, at least, foreign travel is no longer an option. All those parts now modestly covered in clothing will be revealed by these infernal machines.

Cross and Sick Monday

I have been somewhat incandescent today. Nibby, several other sources and my interiors magazine all recommended what would seem to be a common product called ESP: Easy Surface Primer, which you can wipe or paint on any surface, leave for a couple of hours, then repaint without the need for sanding, stripping etc. Spent a tenner on a cab to B & Q, who had never heard of it, or anything similar, so purchased some sandpaper. Had my usual soup and noodle lunch at Lye Torng.

I sometimes think I am a bit of a recluse: I only go out for the newspapers and sometimes to lunch. Apart from when I am at work I am always at home. This reluctance to go out has been reinforced by the appalling lack of everyday products at B & Q. I have now succeeded in purchasing it online, like the rest of my shopping, apart from newspapers and some occasional fresh fruit and vegetables. Spent £20 altogether on cabs since there is no bus stop outside B & Q.

May have a bit of a chest infection. However my antibiotics purchased in Spain are out of date and I really don't fancy having a fight with the GP to try and drag some antibiotics out of him. Read that nearly 40% of over 65s are in danger of contracting pneumonia following a chest infection which is rather alarming and must be why the 'flu jab is given. I shall try and recover without medication unless things become much worse. Not helped by the freezing weather and being snowed upon outside B & Q.

RSPB sent some coconut bird food in some kind of fat so have hung one in the garden. May hang a couple more out. Not seen any interest from birds so far. We shall see.

Cold Sunday with No Newspapers *sob*

Just spoke to Nibby in Oz. She says I should apply easy sealing primer and just paint those chairs - I don't have to get the varnish off. I have taken one downstairs and will buy some paint and primer tomorrow. If they look dreadful I shall just get rid of them. Good thing they were cheap!

Cold and cough awful. Feeling too crappy to go out to get the newspapers. Really annoying as I shall miss my usual Sunday read. Oh well. I shall lounge about and vegetate in the house. Hot chocolate may be the answer. I had not realised how tired being ill makes one feel.

Have just heard that snow is expected - again. Glad I purchased the snow chains to put on my shoes though they are a bit tricky to get on and off.

I wonder if Dorothy and Julian are back from Barcelona yet.