House Guest First Programme

Arrived at Hemel Hempstead for lunch. Lesley had invited her entire family - unfortunately Stephen, predictably, had not appeared, and Lesley B had cancelled on the day. A wonderful buffet was provided and Karen, her husband and I happily enjoyed this. Lesley is really a very good cook indeed and there was an excellent quiche. I normally don't like quiche, but this one was made with a thin crispy crust containing parmesan, and filled with Stilton with walnuts soaked in something and fried in oil on top. Must get the recipe.

Then we settled down to the unenviable task of watching the programme. Lesley and her co-host came over as people who worked well together and were very competent cooks and hosts. I did feel that the programme rather lovingly dwelt on bodily functions and there was rather too much information altogether in this department, from snoring to going to the loo during the night. Everyone looked fine except me. Dorothy said it was the first time I had seen what everyone else saw, and I have to say it was a bit of a nasty shock. Apart from the lack of height, numerous chins, thinning hair and lumps and bumps on my face, somehow though one knows these things to be true, nothing is as bad as seeing it in real life on a screen. Fortunately I did not say much on this first programme, which was just as well as my voice sounded very deep and plummy - Dorothy says I must have been doing a Mrs Bucket - but the worst moments for me where when the camera lovingly lingered on me while eating. Not a good look for a 17st old woman. Unfortunately I think I may have had much more to say later in the week, which is even more to dread.

Anyway, we all had a good time, and maybe it is good to see oneself as others do. This could either lead to a great loss of weight or the adoption of the burqha.