Stopping Snoring and Starting Cooking?

Steps to the old pottery at Rye.

I await with bated breath the snore-stopper for Dorothy. If it works it will be wonderful for Julian. I can't wait for January in Jaywick, truly the centre of the universe. The audience will be tremendous. Miss Bettawear (my spelling) aka Johnny, is a kind girl with a heart of gold, and what is more, a true showgirl.

Just unclogged the pond filter, watered the garden, washed and hung out some clothes, emptied and refilled the dishwasher, so had better tidy up and get out to do some shopping.

Just ordered copies of some of my snaps of the holidays to show the trustees. I expect the seniors will like them, and we will mount them on a large card at the Christmas party for people to take the ones they like.

Telly people have rung again. They are keen to have me on the programme, but apparently I have to have a police check which they will sort out and a food hygiene certificate presumably ditto - sounds like a food hygiene course - not sure how much time this will take up.

Also apparently I will have to stay in the Hell's Kitchen house with the other contestants. Not sure about this one. If there are lots of stairs??or not enough loos??it may not be do-able. Will ask them when they ring again.

Actually the whole thing sounds a bit of a nightmare, but could be a laugh. My cartoonist pal tells me Marco Pierre White is very tall, and says I should get a very tall chefs hat to accentuate my shortness and roundness, and appear wearing that to appear taller in the line-up! Like the short guy in 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum'.

Getting less certain about this being a good idea for me as I am not sure that my health would stand up to the strain of slaving physically in the boiling heat and being constantly screamed at for four days and nights. All for nothing, except the dubious joy of looking a total prat on TV. Hmmm.......more later.