Tuesday 28 April 2009

Anno Domini (And Fat)

I have decided to record my physical and mental decline. Living this long is becoming rather embarrassing: yesterday I almost became stuck in the bath because I was using a new hair conditioner, which made the bath so slippery I could not get a grip anywhere. Only because Dorothy had fixed a rail incredibly firmly on the wall I managed to escape after a long struggle. I am surprised the rail didn't come out of the wall, I was pulling so hard. I shall have to start using the shower instead. Or do without hair conditioner.

My muscles have weakened the extent that I could not get up from the sofa to go to bed last night. I pressed my hands down firmly and pushed, but just could not get up at all. The seat has become rather lower and softer (that's foam for you) since I bought the sofa. I then decided that the only way I would ever get up would be to slide to the floor and push my elbows down on the sofa, getting up on one knee and thus arising. The leg muscles were still too weak and worse, I was now stranded on the floor. Finally I dragged a dining chair over, which gave me a better purchase, and I managed to get up. All this took some time so I was glad to get to bed last night.

I shall have to put some high cushions on the sofa, or see if I can get Dorothy to turn the seat around so that the more firm part is where I am sitting. Or purchase a new sofa every year, which seems rather extreme. These mishaps show how crap it is to get old and fat. I shall have to obtain an arrangement of ropes and pulleys, like Henry VIII, for hauling myself about.

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